1. When you are so tired that you mix up the bottles on your dresser and cover your entire body in hairspray instead of perfume. It was a sticky morning!
2. When Billy mistakenly tells a friend that “the children are ugly” instead of “the children are sick”. Guess we should study our vocabulary more!
3. When you attempt to order a pizza on the phone (delivery) and your directions to your house aren’t correct (because your spanish is so bad)… two hours later, he called to ask for clarification! We managed to get him to the top of the street and flag him down to the house. Yummm—cold pizza!
4. When you realize that the liquid shower gel that you have been using for a week is really shampoo and not body soap. Silky smooth skin with extra body! Lather, rinse, repeat...
5. When you are at the grocery store and your 3 year old needs a bathroom… “Donde esta el baño?” you ask to 4 different people, each time being led to the aisle that sells towels. What??? Clear pronunciation is important!!! “Baño” and “Paño” sure sound a lot alike!
6. When you are so excited because the roses in your yard are finally full and bushy and ready to do their thing, only to wake up the next day to naked sticks! I’m here to tell you that leaf cutter ants can strip you clean in no time! No roses, no geraniums, no nothing!
7. On a similar note, when you and your daughter have been anxiously awaiting the emersion of a butterfly from it’s chrysalis (in the kitchen), only to come home and find the cocoon empty. “Oh no! Where did it go?”, we ask our helper, Lizbeth. Waving frantically she tell us in spanish that it emerged and was flying around the kitchen (frightening her, I think) and she shooed it out the back door (very proud of herself).
8. When your teacher admires your bag/purse and says she wants to try to make/sew one for herself. So, you empty the bag and take it to class the next day so she can use it for a pattern. Somehow, again in bad spanish, the loan of my bag became a “gift” for the teacher. She was very proud of it and carried on and on about how nice it was that I gave it to her… oh well, I hope she enjoys it…
9. When your example sentence in class (“Tonight I will bake a chocolate cake.”) somehow is mistaken for a statement of intent and you are now somehow obligated to make chocolate cake and bring it to class tomorrow to share.
10. When someone says “you smell like an American”… What does that mean? Is that good or bad? I don’t know. Maybe it’s my special blend of hairspray / perfume / body shampoo…